So drunk its hurt
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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