we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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