i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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