i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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