Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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