we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize