Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
