This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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