My brain says no but my pants say off.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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