Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
