Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Let's get the cat blown out
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
