So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize