Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
