i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
