im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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