My girlfriend figured out who you are.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
