There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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