Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
