Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
