he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
