Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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