He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
