CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
