Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
