I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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