Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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