I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
