end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
