before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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