please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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