Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
