If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
