then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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