you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
