how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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