Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
