Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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