worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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