Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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