so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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