**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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