I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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