I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
