Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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