My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
