Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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