mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
