can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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