ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
this hospital has no fireball
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
