im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have aggressive nipples.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
