I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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