Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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