turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
