I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
