One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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