i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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