Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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