she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
