Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
