i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
