well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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