Sry I called you an 8
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
