Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
