i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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