And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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