Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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