but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
