Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
