8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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